A ZION PEOPLE

Before we begin, I feel the need to call all to jump aboard the vulnerability train. This is going to be a real one.

“Don’t you see how letting someone in could be a support to you?”

No. Honestly, right now, in this moment, I cannot. The thought of letting someone into my life, allowing them to have sway and influence, terrifies me. It physically feels like an impossible task, one that requires too much of me.

Why, you might ask? Because, I have witnessed what happens when opening yourself up to someone takes a wrong turn. When entering into a partnership with someone becomes so much less than that. When covenant relationship seems so much more like torture, and less like the blessing it is meant to be.

I have seen and felt what it means to be taken advantage of, and have no desire to allow such an arrangement to enter into my life. I have no doubt that marriage and family are part of God’s wonderful plan for us, but truly don’t know if I can let it in. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are perfect, but other humans are not, which leaves a lot of room for error, pain, and heartbreak.

And as such, my penetrating gaze has turned less rosy and more gray. Rather than seeing the good in others, my focus latches onto the bad, or even projects, often making up my own reasoning for another’s actions.

What are they hoping to get out of this?

What do they really mean behind that compliment?

Did they just lie to me?

No one would ever do that out of the kindness of their heart.

Love doesn’t exist.

Do the Savior and Heavenly Father even really love me?

Believe it or not, this is not a great attitude with which to drive into the mountains to serve a group of seventy youth 😂 But, such is what I did.

This past week, I had the opportunity to join in on a Pioneer Trek. A Pioneer Trek is a reenactment youth and leaders participate in, where those involved dress up in 1800’s clothes, pull a handcart, walk miles upon miles, and at the end, hopefully have a stronger testimony not only of Christ, but also a greater appreciation for our ancestors who suffered so much for the chance that their posterity (us) would get to know Him as they did.

As stated earlier, I began hiking up the mountain with a very poor outlook. I had a job to do, and I was going to do it. That was it. That was the only reason I was there. And yet, as always, the Lord turned it into something far more meaningful. He used it as a chance to show me that people can be so, so good. Even amazing.

As I watched the children walk up to their handcarts, ready to face the unknown, the smiles on their faces astounded me. They didn’t act unhappy to be there, but quickly bonded with each other and made the best of an incredibly difficult situation. When they saw others struggle along the trail, they went back to help. In moments where they couldn’t help, they cheered and rallied and prayed for their fellow comrades. And for the most part, without complaint. Every time I am around these youth, I have so much more hope for our future.

But it wasn’t just watching and observing the interactions around me that again increased my faith in humanity. No, it was the way others treated me, as well.

A hug with the compliment that I was doing a good job, even though I felt I was most certainly not.

While dreading the moment we would have to sweep out a room filled with muddy footprints that had dried to the floor, I walked in to find that so many were already doing it. Without being asked, they just stepped up.

When three leaders who shall not be named were lost in the woods, (Ok, fine. It was the Young Women’s Presidency) not an irritated or frustrated word was said. Rather, giggles were shared, and later, others came to rescue us and take us home with them.

When the Lord gave me the courage to voice the trial I was facing and ask two of the people I trust and love the most for advice on the subject, I was met with open arms and loving strength and thoughtful counsel.

I can’t count the number of times a broom was taken out of someone’s grasp, someone took the time when they should have been on break to come and lend a hand, or a kind word was given to someone who was struggling. Everyone pitched in. Everyone helped out. Everyone had fun. And everyone drew closer to Christ.

As we’ve studied the Docterine and Covenants this year, lots of verses have been dedicated to the cause of Zion. Getting to Zion, becoming Zion, the blessings of Zion. Our Pioneer ancestors tried to be a Zion people, and this weekend on Trek, I saw their posterity fulfilling the same duty. They too, we’re doing their best to love and serve as Christ did. And they achieved it. Many benefited from their actions, including the cynical leader hiding in a large brimmed hat and a plaid shirt.

While sitting amongst them, all I could think was, “This is where I am meant to be.”

Now, I still don’t quite know how I feel about letting someone in. It’s a step in faith I still need to work on. However, serving along my fellow followers of Christ has given me hope in the process. They have made me see that their are truly good people out there, and I can only hope to find one, and become one myself.