TRUSTING HIM WITH THE PIECES
This is not the camp recap I thought I would be writing. In my vision, and as is on par with my usual posts, I thought we’d get a sprinkling of funny stories, several moments of self-deprecating humor, a little bit of heart, and end with a small testimony of a lesson the Lord had taught me during my week spent in the woods.
But every time I attempted to brainstorm with those goals in mind…nothing came. All I had was a blank canvas, when the background should have been full of colorful moments spent with the girls I love so much.
So, I prayed about what to do, and didn’t particularly love the answer I received 😂
One of my duties while at camp was to provide a spiritual thought to conincide with an awesome activity the girls had come up with. I stressed and prayed and worried over that lesson, hoping with all the hope in my heart that through my words, those young women would know just how much their Savior and Heavenly Father loved them. That they would truly understand what beautiful, incredible Daughters of God they are.
And, the Lord provided. I believe my small portion was able to bring the Spirit, and remind the girls of who they really are. Mission accomplished. Accomplished so much, in fact, that I deleted my notes for the lesson almost instantly, so grateful to have that task in my rearview mirror.
But then, one of my sweet girls asked me to send her said notes 😬 And I didn’t have them anymore.
Perhaps as punishment for being so quick on the delete button, I have been prompted to rewrite, and share, my thoughts from that evening, here. Which makes me incredibly uncomfortable 😂 It feels very tooting-my-own-horn. But, this is what He wants. And honestly? He gave me the words to speak to His very precious daughters. I don’t really have the right to gate keep them.
So, here we go. This one’s for you, Miss Charlotte, and all of my wonderful young women in this little corner of the world. Remember, you can always trust Him with the pieces.
Ok, to begin we are going to hand each of you a piece of paper. There is an image on the back of that paper, but we would prefer you don’t look at it just yet.
At some point, we will all go over to that wall over there, placing each of our pieces on that blank canvas. Together, we will create a beautiful mosaic that will remain on display throughout our time at camp.
When we reach that point, I want you to really pay attention to the process of putting the picture together. At first, we might not be able to clearly grasp what the end result is supposed to be. We might even find the image ugly, at first, until all of the gaps are filled in. Until then, we have to trust that when we reach our destination, the result really will be something beautiful.
That’s a lot like life, isn’t it? Sometimes, the pieces of our life just do not look like they are lining up. It becomes hard to believe it will ever turn into something beautiful, because we are only getting glimpses of what could be, instead of the whole picture.
Just like with the image we are about to create, we have to choose to trust. We have to choose to trust Him with our pieces.
Which, can be really hard sometimes. The waiting is so difficult. Waiting for righteous desires to be fulfilled. Waiting for a trial to end. Waiting to see His hand manifested in our lives. Sometimes, at least for me, it has felt like the pieces of my life have been abandoned in a heap. As if my loving Heavenly Father has forgotten all about me, and is just letting the picture of my life create itself, rather than guiding its progression.
It is in those moments, when we can’t quite understand how things will work out, or how He could possibly create beauty out of this mess we call life, where we have to make a choice. When nothing is going to the carefully laid plans in our head, we have to choose to keep trusting Him. We have to choose to keep walking with Him (Moses 6:34). We have to choose to let Him do what He will with our pieces, knowing He will do more with them than we ever could. Knowing that a wonderful picture is waiting for us at the end.
In order to do this, in order to truly trust Him, I think there are two things we need to know:
We need to know who He is.
We need to know who we are.
Those two truths, believeing them with our entire hearts, will anchor us in the storms. We will be able to ride out the waves until He calms them, because we know we are never alone. We know the most trustworthy person to ever walk the earth is walking our path with us. I promise, knowing these two things will allow you to willingly give Him the pieces of your life. I have experienced it, firsthand.
I am going to share how I have come to know each of these truths, but while I continue to speak, I want you to think of how you have come to know them for yourself. And, if you haven’t yet, that is totally ok. I think throughout our lives we will have to recommit to faith in Him, and how He sees us, over and over and over again. Building our testimonies is a lifelong, constantly ebbing and flowing, journey.
So, pray for help to do that. Pray to know Him, and to know your worth. Pray for experiences that will teach you who He is, and who you are to Him.
How I know who He is:
My life has been made up of moments getting to know Him, I could never pick just one. Tender mercies, time spent in scripture, at church, in the temple, answered prayers, all have given me a firm testimony that I have a Savior and Heavenly Father who love me more than I can ever comprehend.
However, as I prayed about what experiences to share, one kept coming back to my mind. And it has to do with rainbows.
The temple has always been a little bit of a difficult experience for me. I build it up so much in my head, believing serving there will be a miraculous event where I receive all the answers to my most burning questions. (Like, where the heck is my husband? 😂) Plus, the drive to get there is so long.
Despite my struggles, I have a firm testimony of the power that comes into our lives when we go to the temple, renew our covenants, and serve others. I am a strengthened person, better prepared to take on the adversary’s attacks, after I walk back out of the temple doors.
So, as often as is possible, I fold myself into my car, hit the highway, and usually spent a large portion of the ride to the temple crying about my worries, concerns, trials, and heartaches. Upon my arrival, the Lord always meets me inside of the temple, but He also meets me along the way. Several times within the last year, on my tear-stained drive, rainbows have appeared outside of my window. Rainbows in the desert, even on days when there was no rain to be found.
Instantly, and every time, I know the Lord is aware of me. That He loves me. That He knows how hard this is for me. That He is proud of me. He wants me to know that He is with me, that we are in this together, and that it is all going to work out.
That comfort means so much to me, but it is also such a little moment in my life. A fleeting morning. Which, is just more proof of His immense love for us. If He can show up for me in what might be defined as just a second of my life, imagine how He shows up for me in the big ones.
I can wholeheartedly trust Him with the little pieces, which means I can equally, or even more so, trust Him with the big ones.
Knowing Who I Am:
It is so important to know who we are, who we really are. Not who our parents think we are, who the world thinks we are, or even who the critic inside our own head thinks we are. We need to know who we really are: We are His. We are His Beloved Daughters. That never changes, no matter what we’ve done, or how far we think we’ve gone. We are always His.
In a 2024 Devotional for Young Adults titled, “Choices for Eternity”, President Russel M. Nelson expressed that one of the most important labels we carry, our true identity, is being a Child of God.
It can be difficult to see ourselves that way, sometimes. As His. Luckily, just like the image we are about to put together, the Lord is willing, and wants, to help us put together the pieces of ourselves, too. He wants us to see ourselves as He does, and He will to everything He can to help us to become that person.
When I was your age, I thought the silliest things in life defined me. I had naturally, platinum blonde hair until I was in high school. At seventeen, my hair started to darken, and I was devastated. My hair color was often what people commented and complimented me on most. It seemed to be what people liked best about me. Losing it felt like I was losing me.
Later, when I went to BYU and quickly discovered that my plan to become a nurse was actually not the correct course of action for my life, (You’re welcome. Can you imagine me as a nurse? 😂) I felt so incredibly lost. Unmoored is the best way to describe it. And, then, when marriage and my own family didn’t come in the timetable I originally expected, I was left wondering what in the world my life was supposed to look like. Who I was supposed to be?
Those were instances, the instances of complete confusion and heartache, were the ones where the Lord was able to walk in and show me who I really was. Step by step, little by little, He showed me who I could be, and it was a person I really liked, with a life I really liked.
Had things gone the way I wanted them to, I wouldn’t be here with you, watching your beautiful lights burn so brightly, it is almost blinding. I wouldn’t give that up for anything. I wouldn’t be an author, because that was a job I never even thought to go for, but one that feels so right for me. I wouldn’t have been able to develop and become a person that feels much more ready to love and care for her future family, when they arrive.
I was forced to trust my Savior with the very pieces of me, and He created a person and a life I could never have dreamed of. Knowing who I am to Him changes everything.
Girls, I know it’s hard. I know it can be hard to trust that the pieces will fall into place when it feels like everything is falling apart. You are looking at the world’s biggest control freak 😂
But I promise, I testify, that we can trust Him. We truly can trust Him with the pieces of our lives, and the pieces of ourselves. His hands are strong enough, gentle enough, and loving enough to hold them and place them exactly where they need to be. We truly can trust Him.
I have never once regretted the choice to choose to trust Him, to choose to keep walking with Him. He wants to keep walking with us. He never races ahead of us down the path, or gets frustrated with our pace, or abandons us when we stray. Always, He is right beside us, encouraging us, strengthening us, and holding our hand as He puts the pieces together.
I promise you, you can trust Him with your pieces. I am a first-person witness of this. He loves you. He has a plan for you. He never leaves you. Just keep walking with Him, keep doing the things that draw you closer to Him, pray to know how He feels about you, and hold tight to the peace that settles over you when you feel Him whisper, “I’ve got this. I’ve got your pieces.”
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