MY YEAR WITH HIM

At the beginning of 2025, I was reflecting on all of the ambitious people I knew who went into a new year with a game plan. Whether it be a list of resolutions, a word to focus the next three hundred and sixty-five days on, or a mapped out schedule for the years events, it seemed like everyone knew what they would be doing in 2025. Except me.

Which, does not fit my personality, at all. I am a planner, through and through. I thrive most when I know what’s ahead of me, when I know what needs to be accomplished.

I’d never been one to mark out my hopes for the year to come, or anything, but I thought I at least had the big goals written in stone. I knew the things I wanted for my life, just perhaps on more of a grand scale when compared to what one would write on their, “Steps To A Successful Year”, list.

And, I think that is one of the reasons I went into 2025 feeling just so entirely defeated and lost. Because, everything I had planned, all the wishes I had hoped would come to fruition, everything I’d set my mind to, had not yet come to pass.

I was an independent author with a book that was, as of yet, unreleased.

I was a single young woman, stepping into her thirtieth year of life, with not a cute guy pining after her in sight.

I was in a calling that surrounded me with children I loved dearly, only to be lightyears away from having some I could call my own.

All I thought I would have achieved by this moment in time was nowhere to be seen, and I’ll be honest, I was discouraged by it. No matter what I planned, no matter how hard I tried, nothing seemed to be working. It seemed, quite possibly, that the Lord was working against me and all of my dreams.

Ok. Clearly, that is not the case. But it truly felt that way, sometimes. And, it was in the midst of this wallowing and self pity that the Lord gave me an idea. Rather than make it my year, where I decided things, why not let Him take the reins? Why not let it be His year? Clearly, I had been doing a bang-up job of making things happen, why not give the Lord of the Universe a go?

Oh, goodness. That twenty-nine-year-old had no idea what she was getting herself into. And I’m glad. She never would have done half the things the Lord placed in her path, had she been given the option. And that would have been a real shame, because I have had an incredible year. A really incredible one, with blessings I can’t begin to count, and experiences I wouldn’t give up for the world.

I’ll tag some of my favorite retellings of such events below for you to read, but it is clear in any one you choose that He was in control, and blessedly so.

However, rather than again go over what I did, I’d rather focus on what I learned, in this post. On what my Savior taught me in my year with Him.

One, He taught me that I am so, so loved.

From book launch parties thrown in my honor, unbelievable support for said book that I could never deserve, to birthday hugs, and a mother who ties bows around all of my books for a single picture, it is clear that I am adored.

And yet, even with all of that pure and utter love, of which I am incredibly grateful for, I think it is often the times where people show up in our hard moments that show us just how much they care. How much He cares.

A few weeks ago, I cried in church. I’m not sure exactly what it was about those hymns, but as soon as the first notes began ringing out in the chapel, I was a goner. A long week, really a long couple of months, had left me feeling broken and depleted, and I just couldn’t hold it in anymore.

And I tried. Oh, how I tried. I begged the Lord to help me suck those tears right back up, to send me some help. And He halfway answered that prayer, because He did send help, but it didn’t come in the form of a hidden tissue in my purse or dry eyes. It came from several hugs. One in the hallway with someone who allowed me to set all that worry down for a minute. A few from Primary children, who always seem to know just when we need their love. And of course, the best type of hug had to be included, the hug from my mother.

In all of those instances, I knew. I knew I was loved by them, but more importantly, I knew I was loved, and seen, by Him.

Two, the temple brings us power.

The temple has not always been my favorite place to be, and I believe I have stated that publicly before. Getting overwhelmed with the need to make sure I am in the right headspace and serving correctly, in the past, going to the temple has felt like more of a stress than a blessing.

Which was why, when one of my incredible friends suggested going to the temple more often as a solution to a problem I was facing, I was not super excited by the thought.

But, I knew. I knew how much she loved me. I knew it had taken a lot of courage to bestow that particular piece of advice on me, because it could have been taken in offense. (It was not.) And I also knew that I trusted her. I knew she was in tune with the Spirit, I had been witness to it before. I knew that she was pointing me closer to Christ by pointing me to the temple.

And so, I went. I tried to change my mindset of why I was there, and attempted to view my service in the way He would want me to.

I was blown away by the blessings that came my way.

My problems were not exactly resolved, but I was guided in them. I was strengthened, given courage and direction in how to face them. I no longer felt alone in them. They could not weigh me down as much as they had before, and I know all of that power comes directly from Him. It came from spending time with Him in the temple, developing a better relationship with Him as I worshiped and served Him there.

Because of this year, the temple has become one of my very favorite places to be. So, thank you, to my sweet friend, for following the Spirit, and helping me more than you could ever know.

Lastly, I have learned that I can 100% trust Him. With all of it.

As stated at the very beginning of this post, some of my dreams had not yet come into being when I decided to fully give Him the year 2025. And with that small act of faith, the Lord was quick to show me that He has a plan for all, and His timing is far better than anything we could schedule out for ourselves.

Just three months in, Reframed was a reality, not just a wispy wish. I was officially an author.

However, my dream of having my published book in my hands was not the only time the Lord proved to me that He was more than trustworthy. No, my relationship with Him grew stronger and stronger with each and every time He pushed me out of my comfort zone these past three hundred and sixty-five days. YSA events, Trek, Dating. At the beginning of the year, I would have agreed to none of these, and now at the end, I wouldn’t give any of them up.

Except the dating 😉

The Lord knew what experiences I needed to grow and change and meet wonderful people. He knew what I needed, and what I wanted. He knew far better than I ever possibly could. How could I not trust someone like that?

And, of course, it is in the downtrodden times where we learn to trust the Lord the most. This year, in an effort to better give all things to Him, I did my best (which was not always A+ effort) to lay my trials with Him, too. Rather than seeing them as ways He was punishing me, or neglecting me, I actively tried to just hand them over to Him. Instead of wracking my brain for how to get out of them, I stepped forward with the tiniest bit of faith in Him. And by so doing, I allowed Him to make miracles out of some of my hardest times.

And boy, did He. Not always in the time or way I wanted, but my goodness did He prove His love for me in this year. Over, and over, and over again. Because of these interactions, I trust Him with it all. Even when nothing is going my way, I know He can work it for my good. He does, I’ve seen it.

So, would I recommend giving your year to Him? Yes. Always yes. Does that mean your year will be a real roller coaster of a ride? Also yes. But, I don’t think you will recognize yourself when you come out of it. I know I don’t. I don’t recognize the world around me, either. It seems so much more hopeful with Him at the wheel. And honestly? I don’t recognize Him, either.

I feel like I have had a blindfold on my entire life, and am only now seeing Him clearly. He is my Savior. He is my Redeemer. He is my friend. I truly would not want to do any of this without Him, I couldn’t.

I would never, ever give up my year with Him.